Today was one of those days where everything just seemed to be off a little for me. Not sure that I have put my finger on quite yet, but with God’s help tomorrow will work out a bit better.
Towards the end of the day of course as per my usual routine I was getting one my lovely headaches and it was giving me fits as I was trying to focus on the printed documents in front of me.
Of course when these headaches come on I get a little short with people and I do my best not to offend anyone or say something that might be taken the wrong way. If you happen to be the recipient of one of these times I will apologize now and in advance as it is never anything personal.
One comment I made today concerned the idea of trust and how we talk to people. I might be wrong here to some people, but in my experience talking with someone is relative to the amount of trust I have in them. Simply saying that we “have” to talk to everyone might miss the mark as it relates to human interaction and relationships.
Do we just blurt out everything to everyone or do we pick and choose who we tell what? I think in every instance our communication does come down to a level of trust. This trust also has differing levels as it pertains to friends, family, coworkers and the people we work for. I do believe that in every instance there is opportunity to grow and develop lasting relationships or ever increasing level of trust.
Speaking for myself I created some defense mechanisms early on in life based on a few things. One of them was the fact that I was picked on from a very early age because of my weight. After years of crying myself to sleep as a kid I started to grow callous towards people as it was obvious that I could only trust a small circle of people. Now I see some of these same types of people in my daily life and automatically my defenses go up. Many times it just happens and I don’t even notice it until I recognize that person within me that puts on the mask of callousness that in fact might push people away.
Even now there are some whom I have not allowed myself to trust, but this from my perspective is probably normal. I have to chuckle because now with everyone having their noses pressed to a smartphone who really cares anyway? The social aspect of our society seems to have slipped a bit from what some of us are used to, but the element of trust must still exist. I would even say that it is more important now than ever as it concerns the online environment.
At the end of the day I will always do my best to find a reason to trust someone, but the second I am given a reason not to it will take awhile for me to get back to that same point we started at. Some might call this a fault, but I call this a mechanism. A mechanism created by an environment that never took the time to find out who I was as a person. Either way I am working to improve in this area and look forward to every opportunity to trust someone new or regain the trust once lost.
For all of those whom I trust I am deeply grateful for that trust which means that you took the time to get to know me as a person and I truly hope that I have done the same for you.
May God bless you and may you always know that for Him trust was given the day He gave you His Son.